There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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