I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
