shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
