Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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