Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
40s are totally the cure
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
