she was so not down for the gang bang
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
