Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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