I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
