stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize