it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
