You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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