how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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