I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
