i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
