I hate your face
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
