Me too!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
