wake up i wanna do it froggy style
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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