im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
