I hope mine doesn't look like that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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