So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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