yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
