He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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