remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
