Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
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