I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
