What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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