You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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