Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
