tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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