I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
