I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
