can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize