I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
