This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
