just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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