He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
