I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
