You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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