I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
