ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
