i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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