You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
