i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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