Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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