haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
