Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
