puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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