I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize