Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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