Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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