that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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