lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
youre lurking in front of me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
