I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
