If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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