u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize