i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
