do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Never joke about your clitoris.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
