yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
