I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
