i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he's gonorrhea incarnate
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
