i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
