Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
